


the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb

by OrdinaryVanity



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Also Jason and Tim are mentioned but they don't say anything so, Gen, Oh fuck also I am not at all a doctor (tho I am trans), So this is some psuedo-science bullshit at it's best, This fic brought to u by I had this happen to me yesterday, Trans Male Character, bruce is trans, time to torture bruce
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-29
Updated: 2017-11-29
Packaged: 2019-02-08 09:11:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12861375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OrdinaryVanity/pseuds/OrdinaryVanity
Summary: A hormonal imbalance causes Bruce to experience a menstrual cycle after years. then, the worst happens.





	the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb

In hindsight, he supposed he should have seen this coming, all things considered. World's greatest detective indeed.

Several weeks ago, Bruce had gone for a routine check up with his trusted physician, who was not only discreet about the litany of bruises, scrapes and scars dotting his body every which way, but who was also both a trained gynecologist and endocrinologist. As it was, Bruce had made an off hand remark about feeling a little off recently, prompting the good doctor to run a blood test (which he'd already run on himself, but of course she couldn't know that). As the results would take some time, she had sent him on his way, determining that his current T dosage and general body condition to be optimal. So, life went on.

By now, as Bruce had already deduced a hormonal imbalance as the source of his issues- nothing he couldn't handle, but an annoyance nonetheless. An annoyance that grated on his nerves everyday, his levels making him just that little bit below optimal. Luckily, his physician had called him back in, reaffirmed what he had already determined, and prescribed him a different birth control to try. It would take a while to intergrate into his system, she had said. Apparently, the new drug was multiple times more effective, but it would be a few weeks before it was done interacting with the remnants of his other prescription.

Which, was never optimal, but Bruce had lived through pain before. He would persevere, and he would overcome. He would...

"Master Bruce, I do so hope you aren't planning on going on patrol tonight." Alfred stood at the entrance to the cave, watching Bruce don his costume in preparation for the aforementioned patrol, not missing the subtle tension wavering in the lines of his body. "You are clearly in pain, and this is no time for martyrdom. Masters Tim or Dick will be able to fill in for you tonight." Honestly, Alfred thought to himself, as long as the younger man had known him and he expected to hide any form of pain? Preposterous.

Bruce slipped his cowl on. "Tim has a history test tomorrow, and Dick's in Metropolis on vacation right now." Seeing Alfred open his mouth to retort, he added "And not to mention, Jason never answers my calls. Gotham needs protecting, Alfred- crime doesn't stop, not even for a single night." He turned with a flourish, cape fanning out in a wide, dramatic arc behind him, as he hopped into the Batmobile (and suppressed the almost wince as a result of a particularly strong cramp in response to his sudden movement).

Alfred sighed, knowing a lost battle when he saw one. Nonetheless, he would worry, and worry he did as he set to preparing a hot water bottle and a warm, relaxing drink, for when his oldest charge actually returned. Unprompted, a thought occured to him, and after a few moments of consideration, he dug out his phone and made a call.

Just a mere 10 minutes later, Bruce was questioning his own sanity. He had forgotten just how bad his period could get, and he was just happy he'd remembered a tampon, let alone ibuprophen. Shaking his head, he tuned the police scanner, listening in for any incidents. A few moments of radio silence, with only the warbly crackle of the radio to keep him company, until a voice broke through.  
"All units respond, there is an attempted robbery in progress at the Gotham Second National Bank, repeat, there is an attempted robbery at the Gotham Second National Bank, all units please respond." Bruce, checking first to insure safety, drove into a quick U-turn, allowing the car's navigation to guide him toward the bank. 

***

"Alright, bird brains, I'm gonna need you all to go sit over there, while me and Tim here keep an eye and a gun or two on you. Any sudden movements, the boss gave us full permission to fire, do I make myself clear?" A crowd of frightened civilians whimpered in reply, some shaking their heads, some paralysed by fear. In either case, their compliance was understood. The two armed men laughed maniacally, never dropping their firearms from the position they were in, trained on the crowd.

"Hey Boss, you almost done in there? We spend any more time out here, we're gonna have some cops to deal with," the second man said, sneering. A thought struck him. "Or worse, the Bat."

His partner clubbed him on the head with his free hand, ignoring the muffled exclamation of pain. "The sun ain't even set yet, Timmy baby, and you know it ain't Batman's MO to show up before the sun sets. Am I right, or am I right?" The short man puffed up his chest pridefully, waving his gun about for emphasis. The civilians cowered.

"Yea, I guess you're right." A beat passed, when the second guard realised he couldn't hear any more shuffling in the cavernous, echoing vault behind them. "Uh, Boss?" Tim ventured, leaning to the side a bit but keeping an eye on the hostages. Hostages who, for some reason, appeared to be looking...right behind him... Hesitantly, Tim turned around, feeling an icy cold pit drop in his stomach-and then a punch followed it, as Batman delivered a disarming blow to his arm, sending the gun skittering safely away. A quick jab to the neck, and the armed guard was out like a light. 

His partner, however, was more lucky- he'd turned around quick enough, startled by his partners winded exclamation of surprise, and fired his gun frantically around once he'd seen his partner go down. Batman ducked behind the teller desk, and the armed guard fired at him, remaining at a steady distance. Pinned down, Batman threw a smoke bomb, sending a cloud of gas into the surrounding area, allowing him to safely grapple away.The guard continued firing forward, spraying from side to side in an attempt to not miss. Wanting this over, Batman launched himself off his high perch, bringing down his knee on the guards head, knocking him out like a light. 

The jump also served to agitate his already agitated uterus though, which chose that moment to let it's discomfort known, with a rush of blood he was *certain* had touched his thigh. Wanting to get out as soon as possible, and ignoring the feeling of blood between his thighs, Batman tied the three men up, allowing the civilians to be tended to by the authorities, all the while praying that the black color of his crotch armor would prevent anything from being visible. As soon as the criminals were incapacitated and under control, he left the way he came, firing a grappling hook through the open skylights on the roof.

By the time he made it back to the Batmobile, it was all he could hope for that he hadn't bled through the seat of his pants. Pulling his gloves off, he reached a hand in to assess the damage. His fingers came back coated in blood, confirming his suspicions. Unfortunately, given that it had been some years since his last period, Bruce didn't have a single tampon or even pad in the car. Despairingly, he made a mental note to put a few pads in the glove compartment, for Tim's sake at the very least.

Bruce calculated the distance back to the manor from here- by his calculations, he'd likely bleed not only through the entire suit, but also in to the chair, and Alfred would be on him for weeks if he had to get bloodstains out of Kevlar one more time this month. Begrudgingly, he weighed his options, and eventually decided that the wrath of his father figure wasn't worth it. 

Which brings him to where he stood now- cape around him protectively, covering the spot that may or may not exist on the seat of his pants (he didn't have the mental fortitude as of current to check), standing in line at a convenience store. Clutched in his hand was a box of tampons, a pair of underwear, and a bottle of Advil; in the other hand, a crumpled wad of 20s. A withering grimace contorted his face, made possible by his controlled wrath at the situation, and the pain racking his midsection. Finally, he approached the counter, and saw the man behind it wilt under the intensity of his glare. "Don't ask questions you don't want the answer to," Bruce growled out, causing the poor shopping clerk to squeak. Whilst the terrified clerk bagged his items, he placed the wad of 20s onto the counter (somewhere near 400 in total). He grabbed the proferred bag, uttering a "Keep the change," and stalking off and out the store.

Not that he went far, by any means; moreover, he climbed into the Batmobile's rear doors, allowing him the privacy and space he needed to very quickly remove his blood-soaked underwear and replace the drenched tampon inside him. Incedentally, the damage was not as bad as he'd initially feared; true, it had soaked through his underpants, but nothing else had been affected. Well, despite the shattered remnants of his pride. He threw the Advil and tampons into the glovebox after downing two pills, and after ensuring that he was fully clothed, clamboured back into the drivers seat.

The rest of the night was uneventful, to say the least; it almost seemed that crime was taking a short vacation. Or, the universe had decided "hey, we've shafted Bruce enough for one day." Either way, 12 am had him turning back into the Batcave, a long night of mortification for only him to be mortified about over. When he arrived, the weariness of the day caught up to him, and after shedding the mercifully unharmed Batsuit and exchanging it for a tee shirt and flannel pants, he robotically walked up to his bedroom. 

Much to his surprise, however, it was not a cold empty expanse of bed that greeted him; moreover, a veritable nest of Robins all lay sprawled curled up and cuddling under his blankets. Bruce smiled fondly, looking at all of his kids waiting for him. Dick waved him over, the only one still conscious. Amused, Bruce took a seat on the edge of the bed, as Dick leaned in conspiratorially. "I thought you were on vacation," Bruce asked quietly, a small smile coming to his face. "What brings you back to Gotham?"

Dick rolled his eyes. "I came back, because a certain loving butler told me my dad was in intensive pain and wasn't telling anyone or accepting help," Dick replied just as quietly, crossing his arms with a look of mock disgruntlement. 

"And Jason?" 

"Exactly the same. Seems that without a flock of Robins around to keep him sane, bats seem to think that they're invunerable.  
Weird how that works." Curse him, but Dick knew exactly how he worked. "Bruce, we're here for you, okay?" Dick sat up, and hesitantly clapped a hand on his surrogate father's shoulder. Deciding he'd already lost just about as much pride as he could tonight, Bruce pulled his oldest son into a hug. Initially, Dick stiffened in surprise, but a half second later and he was returning the hug gladly.

The two decided it would just be best to not disturb the nest, and the small family ended up asleep within minutes. And be it a blessing or an apology, but Bruce's cramps were not to appear the whole night.

**Author's Note:**

> What's up I would die for Good Dad Bruce
> 
> Oh yeah also Tim and Bruce are both trans in this
> 
> Also! This is dedicated to my brothers Jay and Connor, with whom I have been. enlightened.


End file.
